


Saving A Dumb Blond

by hyacinth258



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28768923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth258/pseuds/hyacinth258
Summary: Rei Hatake knows she isn't supposed to exist. Her friends aren't supposed to exist. What the hell happened to canon and how is she supposed to cope living in a world that seems so familiar, yet has far too many difference to keep track of? Follow her life as it starts out shitty, and then gets completely out of control. This is a very self-indulgent fanfic and I standby it. No beta, we die like men.
Relationships: Gaara (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Kankurou (Naruto) & Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 60
Kudos: 156





	1. Six

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1! First time I have ever published my work where it could be subjected to the horror of actually being read. Flame me if you'd like, my friend likes smores. Disclaimer: I can't speak Japanese and I apologize for how clunky it might feel.

(SIX)  
The only thing that makes her feel anymore, are her dreams (memories). An escape to a different world where she isn’t anyone’s toy. At first she is resentful towards the woman she dreams of (her past self). One who didn’t know the pain of almost starving to death, only to have to fight against others for the privilege of eating. When she knows only the life of surviving and fighting, the real torture begins.

There's an itch under her skin, she’s always known it was there. Now it’s a burning fire as the man with eyes like gold (snake he’s a snake) constantly pokes and prods at it, until she pushes back. The World lights up in a blinding array of colors and feelings, enough to make her pass out from it all. When she awakes, it’s from a dream that made her cry with emotions not her own. The girl of her dreams had her family broken by one she loved.

She forgets the dream (memory) as survival once again becomes all too important. By managing to pick up words and learn, she knows she is six out of eight other children. That is what they are, isn’t it? She knows the word, knows the meaning, but it somehow doesn’t feel right. The word she remembers presents an image of innocence she knows she cannot claim as her own. They call her Roku and command her to be the last one alive.

All eight children (so young really), an uneven mixture of males and females, are thrown into a cement pit with several inches of brown, murky water. Roku refuses to think on it, but her traitorous mind whispers that the coppery smell burned in her nose is not a coincidence (blood of those before). She takes up a defensive position, and moves away from the pile of animals (babies forced to kill) biting and clawing each other on the hope that they may be the one to live.

Until there is only one left, the biggest and strongest of the eight (no older than five). He was the one dubbed Shi, and Roku waits until he turns to her. Some deep part of her screams, that if she is truly going to go through with this, his face must be scarred into her mind until she can make it right in the after life. There's no savage look like she was expecting, in fact, there's just nothing behind his dark brown eyes. As if he had died long before now.

His fist lands against her right cheek and she becomes truly acquainted with the vile liquid her bare feet were soaking in. Maybe he would have had a chance against her, if that had been the first hit she had received in this world, it would have stunned her. As it is, he seals his fate when he slams his bigger body onto her smaller one, and snakes his hands around her throat. Roku ignores the nausea and pain, (she will earn the pain shortly) she had been waiting for the perfect moment.

Dead inside or not, every man (boy he was just a boy) reacts to a knee to the groin in the same way. The boy was no different. His hands lost their grip as he automatically went to hold the pain, and she moved. The woman in her dreams, had known many different ways to take a life, but lacked the experience. Using the knowledge she had, Roku wrapped her legs around his face, keeping her hands free to hold his (smothering sheds no blood). After he stopped struggling, she still held tight (unconsciousness comes before the end). Death would be the only kindness she would be able to give in this world.

Her reward for being the last alive, was to be given to a man with one eye. He commanded absolute loyalty from her, (he can’t be trusted) and she was willing to obey. His mark (seal) underneath her tongue burned her constantly, but at least the itch under her skin (chakra) began to feel natural. As natural as the blade she was given, along with a set of clothes that tickled her memory. She was to be his tool (pawn), and as such, he needed to sharpen her.

***

Part of her training was to be put up against more and more opponents (only kids), for each one she failed to best, she was punished (abused). Roku collected several scars, but at least the one eyed man was making her stronger. Fiercer (angrier). She had no idea how long she had been in the dark tunnels, before he sent her off to take a life. No words were given, just a picture with a name on it. That’s how it went. A picture, a name, then blood on her hands.

Roku had no sense of time, no idea how old she was (twenty-one). How long she had survived the world so far. Until one of her targets (victims) had a mirror in their room. Because her body was still so small (it was a mercy to die in your sleep), she preferred to end them while they slept. Movement caught her eye and she found herself locking eyes with a ghost (she’s just a little girl), deep blue eyes and hair like the night.

Something was happening to her mind, she was fighting something from the inside (past memories). Something just under the surface of her own mind (her real self). It was suffocating, there were words she knew, but she’d never learned them (not in this life). She knew she was panicking, but she’d never done so before. Roku (not Roku, never Roku) found herself struggling to keep her own mind.

In a daze, she wandered into a forest. It was in no way recognizable, but somehow, it made her feel peaceful. Until she started hyperventilating as flashes of memories not her own stated playing in her mind. The taste registered first, before she belatedly   
realized she had vomited on the base of a tree. (That always happened after her panic attacks). Roku had never had a panic attack before.

She felt them on the edge of her senses, before spotting the young boy and the deer. The kunai slipped into her hand before she consciously decided to grab it. (Just a boy, not a threat). Roku put it back only a second after she pulled it out of her back pouch. He was confused, she could tell by the way his spirit flickered (chakra sensing emotions). Then, he actually noticed her and she could see his surprise on both his face and his aura (chakra).

He had to have been around the same age as her (so painfully young), but his eyes had something in them she’d never seen before. (Innocence.) It was so pure and untouched by the darkness that surrounded and filled her. The late afternoon sun made his brown eyes practically shine with life. Time froze as both children regarded each other, as soon as his lips started to lift into a sleepy smile (she didn’t deserve to be seen as a child), she left.

Fear was coursing through her as she ran out of the forest she had stumbled into. It took a moment to realize she wasn’t afraid for herself, but for the boy. (She was too far into the darkness to be near something so pure.) Pureness stood no chance in this World. Roku (NOT Roku NEVER Roku) knew this. (Kindness is stronger than terror) Terror made this world, (No) she had to (change can happen) stay away from innocents. That’s why she ran away from the strange (familiar) boy (he was so familiar) with shining eyes (the hair, the eyes, the deer he walked with).

“Shikamaru.” His name left her lips without thought and suddenly she was falling to the ground. The pain didn’t register in her mind as she stared up through the trees she had been running on and into the sky. How did she know the boys name? Why was she so sure his name was Shikamaru Nara. “This world shouldn’t exist.” Her voice sounded wrong. It was too young, too empty. She slowly flexed her body, part by part, and it was too small. Everything was wrong.

After laying on the ground until the sun disappeared, thinking of nothing in particular, she felt the seal on the bottom of her tongue burn. A call to return to her master. The longer she prolonged returning, the more painful the seal would become. Danzo Shimura was waiting for her, she had to shut down thoughts of killing him. “Master.” Her mind wasn’t fully reconnected, but by the second she was remembering things. Pieces of the future she should not have.

“Roku, you were late returning to me.” His voice contained a false note of concern, as if he cared if she struggled. But Roku was not her name and she knew him for the liar he was. No fake sincerity would sway her. “I apologize Master. I completed my mission without fail. As far as anyone will be able to tell, the target was murdered for his riches.” Danzo hummed at her, a deep gravelly noise that made her stomach tighten.

“What delayed you.” Her tongue burned, a careful reminder that she was unable to lie to him. “I was seen by a boy and a stag in an unfamiliar forest.” She waited to see if he wanted more, or if this was all he wanted. He waved his hand for her to continue. “The forest had a chakra like I had never experienced before, Master. It was alive, and didn’t want me to leave.” That was mostly the truth.

The Nara forest did indeed have it’s own chakra, that had felt alive and as if it wanted her to stay. But it had been easily ignored as she had laid on the soft moss flooring. She didn’t dare meet his eyes, but she could hear the smile in his voice. “Yes, you would be wise to avoid the forest from now on, Roku.” There was no dismissal in his voice, so kneeling on the cold stone is where she stayed. Once, he had her kneel there until she was sure she would pass out, only then did Danzo allow her to leave.

She was conditioned to keep her mind empty and only focus on the next order he would give her, but she couldn’t help but think about how she had killed for this man. The blood of seven people were on her hands because he had commanded it. Four were ninjas whose crime she didn’t know, and three were merchants who had been Danzo’s spies, but he feared betrayal.

While she had done all of the merchants in their sleep, two of them had looked like they had died naturally in their sleep, and the last one looked like a robbery. Of course, a shinobi with a healthy dose of suspicion would look closer and see foul play. She knew the Military Police wouldn’t look that closely at a civilian death, so she was perfectly in the clear. She wished she wasn’t.

Danzo was still having some kind of power play, so to punish herself further, to keep the fire burning, she re-lived the deaths of the shinobi as well. One had been a novice poison user, so it was easy to nick him without him knowing, of course the idiot hadn’t carried an antidote on him. The most deadly mistake a poison user could make, and she had taken full advantage.

The other two didn’t make her as guilty as they should have, but still, she would own their deaths. One day, if there was a God, she will reap what she has sown. Death would come for her in the most painful manner imaginable, then perhaps she would have suffered enough to be able to glimpse her lost loved ones beyond the veil of life.

He struck while she was reminiscing, a hard blow dealt with the cane he carried but had no real need for. It took all the training she had survived, not to react. To allow him his anger and disappointment. Each blow was exactly the same as the one before, controlled and precise. Afterwards, when she was bloody and barely conscious, he stopped. Her reaction to pain was anger, the lethal kind. A calm, controlled rage. “Don’t be late again, Roku.”

As soon as he left, hands came to lift her away to be healed. It hurt all over, and she was certain a rib or two were broken. Danzo didn’t punish her, just to teach her a lesson, the lesson was for all of his little shadows. The other children he was training to die for him and the Hidden Leaf. As she fought to stay awake, a stray image floated into her head. A pale boy who was a painter.

So, as she drifted into unconsciousness, she decided Danzo needed to die sooner rather than later. When she woke up, it was to the realization that she would need to heal before doing anything. The medic, not the one with gray hair and glasses she was dreading to meet, but a woman with pale hair, confirmed that two of her ribs were broken. With chakra, she would be able to help the healing process, however, if most of the healing wasn’t done naturally, her ribs would forever be weaker than the rest.

Every breath hurt, but she wasn’t given any pain medication, not that she asked for any. Her only respite from the crackling pain, was unconsciousness. As her mind drifted to escape the pain of the real world, she saw more of what her soul had previously gone through. Memories revolving around a life she can no longer claim. Images of the boy she saw in the woods make it obvious she had knowledge of the world she’s now in. She's given a week to recover, after all, a broken tool is useless. Still, when she escapes from the pain into unconsciousness, her soul slowly shifts into place in this new body.


	2. Snitching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand that reaches for help, get's smacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters for the price of one. Updates will be inconsistent and rely heavily on how much my friend bullies me.

(SNITCHING)  
She’s back to it, somewhat surprised at how fast her injury healed, deciding that was the benefit of chakra. Speaking of, she can’t get used to the buzzing beneath her skin, the constant flow of energy that just isn't quite right. It was as if it just didn’t fit right, like wearing clothes you’ve outgrown. She didn’t really want to mess around with it too much, fearing consequences to great to fix.

Something keeps poking in her mind for her attention, but she’s too wrapped up in memories and orders to allow the thought to bloom. Speaking of, Danzo had given her an order she couldn’t do. There was a boy he wanted to join the foundation, but in order to do so, he needed leverage against the boy’s father, the Aburame Clan Head. Until she learned about their kikaichu, she hadn’t remembered the clan.

Apparently, the Hokage allowed Danzo to recruit children into the foundation, but only with their consent or the consent of their Clan Head. She didn’t think he understood the meaning of consent. She also didn’t like how complicit the supreme leader of the Leaf Village was in the whole, child soldier bullshit. However, he had to be her best bet at getting Danzo under control. Even if he was a foot short of being a dictator.

She didn’t want to help the elder slowly take over the Village, one innocent at a time. So, Hiruzen Sarutobi was probably her better potential ally, but she still didn’t really trust him. As a character in a show, he had seemed like a kind grandfatherly character, however, the reality was different. She was now intimately aware of what it really meant to be a shinobi. How much their hands were stained with blood. Something she was sure never to forget.

She needed a shinobi she could trust, or at least trust their interests, but also was higher up in command to actually be able to do something. There wasn’t more time to debate within herself as soon as she had an idea of who could help her. While her memories came to her as she slept, some things were clearer than others. Certain people who had only been characters for her other self to obsess over, she knew enough about them to find their interests trustworthy.

She dismissed her first choice to seek help from, and instead found herself heading towards her second choice. As far as her lord and master knew, she was supposed to be collecting information to use to, convince, Shibi Aburame to hand over his son. Danzo’s plan B was to put pressure on the boy to agree to join. He was only a few years away from joining the Academy and Lord Danzo wanted him before that.

It was harder the second time, to find her way through the forest. Recently, she was beginning to notice chakra more and more. The stuff was everywhere like a bad smell. It was in the damn air. The only reason she wasn’t being overwhelmed by it all, wasn’t do to Danzo’s torture, but something she learned from her dreams, from before. In her previous life, she had been raised to be very observant, as such, there were some things she had to consciously ignore. In her new life, she couldn’t really afford to ignore anything, but ignore it she did.

The path she was taking through the forest was an animal trail, her mind whispered deer and she agreed. It led her right to the backyard of a nice house. She felt him before she laid eyes on him, and a part of her registered that he knew she was behind the tree. Could he sense her like she could him? That was something to keep an eye on. She couldn’t quite recall his name, his son was more important to the story as a whole than he was. His role was important, and she did remember he was the Jounin Commander, as well as the Nara Clan head. A recognized Genius.

Instead of coming to meet her or throwing a greeting her way, the facially scarred man poured an extra cup of tea. His companion, the boy an integral person to the story she knew, looked both confused and suspicious of the extra cup of tea. The father son duo were playing that game that requires strategy and was like the black and white one of her past. If she was questioning whether or not the cup was actually for her, that would have been answered as soon as the Nara Head pushed it towards the edge of the porch, directly across from her tree.

Now, if she didn’t have the extra traumatic memories of being in this world, there would be no hesitation in accepting the cup of tea. Before approaching, she did a mental evaluation of what she looked like, searching for something that would give her away upon inspection. Because of her age, her gender wasn’t immediately discernible, allowing for her clothes to not be out of the ordinary. No one looked twice at a young boy wearing a tank top and shorts. She had stashed her weapons deeper in the forest, not wanting to be seen as a threat.

She was sure he would see whatever he looked for, but in order to gain his help, she’d need to be transparent and honest. With only another second taken to ask for prosperity, she approached. As soon as the tree was behind her and no longer the other way around, the boy took notice of her. He was just so young. Despite the deep intelligence in his dark eyes, his innocence practically shined.

“Ah, you came back.” Why did his voice sound so, pleased? She also didn’t like that he seemed to remember her. By her count, at least a month had passed since she had stumbled across him in the forest. Yet, he held the delight only a child can really feel. The pleasant surprise that happens when you didn’t expect something good to happen, then it did. Distantly, in the far back of her mind, the one that began with her second birth, she noted that he was the first to have smiled at her, just because she was her. With that genuine smile, came the quiet acceptance that she would never do anything to make him frown at her.

Despite her instantaneous allegiance to the brown eyed boy, her life wasn’t something she wanted to discuss with him around. It was probably due to her continued silence, that the Nara Patriarch picked up on her hesitance regarding the presence of his son, and with a carefully raised eyebrow, Shikamaru was reluctantly sent to find his mother.

“Did you need something from me, little one?” His voice betrayed his intelligence in a way that she wouldn’t have noticed, without her extra experience. She could use his curiosity. But first, she needed to show an act of trust he may or may not fully realize, this was accomplished by her downing the cup of tea he had silently offered. The bitter flavor on her tongue forced her from the maze that was her mind and gave her a moment to shove her paranoia to the side. She had one chance to get her point across.

“Danzo Shimura has betrayed Lord Hokage’s trust and committed treason.” It was spoken with less than half a breath, as fast as she could manage, in an attempt to bypass the foreign chakra constantly buzzing under her tongue. She had spent her time in the infirmary, familiarizing herself with the seal, and felt the slight lag it had. Of course, just because there was enough of a lag for her to say what she needed to, didn’t mean she was safe from the ramifications.

It felt like she had consumed fire, while lightning pulsed through her head, aftershocks rippling through her whole body. Her pride wasn’t so that she tried to quietly bare through it, no, she crumpled into a ball and sobbed. Even if her throat was capable of it, she wouldn’t have begged for mercy, because she deserved this, for taking lives so easily, the pain was her punishment. Her karmatic justice.

Before she gave into the blissful release of unconsciousness, she managed to painfully force out that it was the Aburame clan Danzo wanted. Some small part of her brain that was disconnected from the rest of it all, registered cool hands lifting her tiny body from the ground. Their chakra a comfortable hum, that made her last thought of the gentle rain of spring.


	3. Shocking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zappy zap. Also, don't trust Militant Leaders kiddos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters going forward will be slightly shorter, but I will likely be fast in publishing them. Because I already have 17 chapters written and over 15k words.

(SHOCKING)  
Something in the back of her mind was wailing from the pain, but it's voice wasn’t louder than the one telling her to wake up. She knew that voice (it hurt to remember), there was no question about obeying. Before opening her eyes, she was aware of soft trees and cool shadows.

Her training kicked in before her rationality, and with a twist of her body, she was out of the larger arms that had held her and had her back to a wall. A classic defensive position. There would have been a blade in her hand, if she hadn’t extracted them all from her person to appear as harmless and trusting as possible.

Taking in her surroundings was second priority. She could feel three separate chakra signatures buzzing against her senses, one was Shikamaru’s father, the other had to belong to the Hokage it was just so massive and sturdy. The last one was almost smothered enough for her not to sense and she disliked that she couldn’t get a good read on it, but she knew it was somehow above her.

Meeting the eyes of the Hokage, had her straightening from her defensive crouch and going into a low bow. “Hokage-sama.” It wasn’t hard for her to rationalize that the Nara head must have brought her here after her confession. Remembering her betrayal, brought her mind back to the ache all through her body, but she had to ignore it. (Never let them see your pain, never show weakness)

Her eyes stayed pointed down, and she waited to be addressed. “You’ve made quite the accusation, little one.” There wasn’t any sense of despair at his lack of belief, because that hadn’t been why she’d spoken up. Not really anyways. Her muscles screamed as she straightened her back to meet his eyes.

“Lord Hokage. I have proof.” It wasn’t easy, offering what she was. But, her life had no meaning except to do what was needed to be done. “Oh? What proof do you have?” He sounded a little less like he was humoring her, despite her knowing otherwise. “I have my mind. Nara-san can retrieve a Yamanaka and they can show you the truth.” It would very likely kill her though. Danzo was not a stupid man and his seal was very clever.

Giving away her life to ensure the Shadow ruler of Konoha didn’t walk free, would be worth it. “I don’t believe that’s necessary, I will speak to Danzo myself.” A swift punch to her gut was dealt by the feeling of betrayal and dismissal. He would do nothing to fix what Shimura had broken. “In the meantime, am I correct in assuming you no longer wish to serve under him?” No feelings were written on her face, she was like a doll. “You are correct, Hokage-sama.”

It was a learning moment for her, that the leader of the village could not be trusted to do the right thing. (Only trust once, else you’ll pay a demanding price) “Well, I suppose in that case, you’ll need to go back to your parents.” He seemed to consider his words, and her lack of reaction. “Do you have parents or a guardian?” Her reply was in the negative. “Hmm. How old are you, little one?” Silence was his answer. (She was twenty-one trapped in a child's body)

“She appears to be around Shikamaru’s age.” Her focus went back to the only other Nara she had met. He was close enough to get a good read of his emotions. A quiet sort of discontent she couldn’t quite understand. It was hard to read him further, her sore body was making her drowsy to the point of collapsing. That, and her feeling of defeat that would just not be ignored. She had ultimately failed at what she had set out to do and it was crushing enough that her mind just, checked out. (Turning off emotions to protect yourself is a bad coping mechanism)

She stopped paying attention while the Nara (can't remember his name) spoke with the Hokage. It was easier to focus on the pain radiating throughout her body, than the hollow feeling of failure. He's right outside the door when she senses him, every muscle in her body tenses up as if preparing to fight. Her reaction is not unnoticed by the men in the room with her. A moment later, the door opens and she can’t bring herself to look at him (death was going to take her again).

“You called, Hiruzen?” Why does the Hokage do nothing about the blatant insubordination happening in his own office? What kind of a leader (Dictator, he was a Dictator) was he, to allow himself to be spoken to like that. “Ah, Danzo, thank you for making time. It seems we have things to discuss, old friend.” She could hear the threat in his voice, but there was no killing intent soaking the room. All bark.

Being this close to the source of the mark that brought her so much pain, was doubling the shock waves of electricity pulsing through her body. As if he himself was a lightning storm. She could feel it, feel him pulse his chakra once, only once (sometimes it only takes once). Her body convulsed and once again, she passed out. The last thing she heard, was Danzo denying her existence.


	4. Severe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei becomes a Hatake in a very upsetting way. What the hell is the Hokage thinking?

**_(SEVERE)_ **

For one fleeting moment, a part of her believes she's finally waking up from the crazy dream she has found herself in. That once she opens her eyes, They will be there. But then, she picks up on the feeling of wrongness inside herself and notices she is not alone in what she presumes is the hospital room. Oddly, she doesn’t care when a fleeting thought passes through her mind, saying it would have been better to have not woken at all.

As soon as her eyes flicker open, a happy noise is made by the one whose chakra sparks like a dying fire. “Ah, you’re awake. Good.” Why couldn’t she just die, she made an attempt, failed and now she should just be left to perish. “The iryo-nins want to observe you for a few days, it appears your chakra network is something to be concerned about.” He was laying the kind grandfatherly act on thick, if she cared more, she’d call bullshit.

“In the meantime, I’m putting you under the protection of one of Konoha’s finest shinobi.” He motioned to the other person she had sensed. She used all of her training (torture) not to flinch at the sight of the silver haired man. Having an image in her head of how he will one day look, she unapologetically thinks he currently looks like shit. His one visible eye is sunken in, as if sleep is just a memory he's almost forgotten. His posture is stiff, in an awkward, trying to be relaxed way.

Those are just the immediate observations, as both men (he's so young) wait for her reaction, she notes the actual look in his eye. Kakashi Hatake's prepared to kill her, assuming she gives him reason to. His chakra tells her he doesn't want her to give him a reason though. That, earns him some semblance of trust. "Yes, Lord Hokage." Something about the way she replies, makes the aged leader sigh, and the young jounin's chakra practically recoil in an unfamiliar emotion.

Her ability to read expressions, was nonexistent (was always bad at microexpressions), but even if she could trust her eyes, they were trained liars. However, she can mostly read the truth of their emotions by their chakra, a skill that would have made her more paranoid, if she wasn't aware it was unique (please no blood limit, please no blood limit). It was thanks to that skill, that she knew neither men desired to harm her. If she was a threat, they would not hesitate.

However, the Hatake was spiraling deep into depression and didn't care about her. The Hokage, was surprisingly easier to read. Maybe that was in part to how well she knew his potential future though. She made him sad, in a deeply discontent way. But, he undeniably had a spark of hope mixed in with all his fluctuating emotions. "Ah, I don't believe you've told me your name?" (NOT ROKU) The screaming thought from the back of her mind made her flinch from how strong it was.

The reactions to her flinch were telling. Sympathy and adrenaline. Hatake's reaction did more to soothe her. "I don't have one. My code was Six." He frowned for only a second, before he was false smiles. "I suppose that means you can choose your own. Do you have any ideas?" She decided she did not like the Hokage. There was a darkness infesting his village and at some point (Minato's coronation) he had made the executive decision that it wasn't his problem. Instead of doing something, he was entertaining a nobody like her.

A new name that she would have to be able to respond to and acknowledge. But, she had a name, right? One that had been chosen for her long before She had been pregnant. The name wouldn't come to her mind, something was blocking that part of her memory (not ready yet, too much). A whisper went through her mind and she knew it was just a piece, but it was not as if she was whole. "Rei." Hiruzen chuckled at her and a small part of her felt vicious towards him. Hatake didn't seem to care, until the Hokage spoke again.

"Hmm, Rei Hatake has a nice ring to it." She hadn't ever felt someone's emotions like Kakashi's in that moment. If she had to make a guess (it was so familiar) he was currently experiencing a type of panic attack. Induced by the Hokage's thoughtless words and decisions. She could sympathise. He was as much a tool as she was.

The best she could do for him, was be the person she was in this world. "I am not a Hatake. Don't many have just one name?" Maybe not a question a real child would have asked, or at least a real innocent would have phrased it differently. But there was only one person she would never lie to, herself. A choice made by her very soul, a long time ago.

"Yes, yes. However, it would be best if you are on paper at least, a Hatake. Besides, you do resemble Kakashi-kun's elder sister." Wait, what. She had thought he was the last Hatake, was she wrong? A piercing pain went through her head along with thoughts that weren't under her control.

(HE DOESN'T HAVE A SISTER THAT'S WRONG WRONG WRONG! KAKASHI HATAKE WAS BORN TO SAKUMO HATAKE AND AN UNKNOWN MOTHER! BOTH PARENTS DIED AND HE WAS LEFT AS THE LAST HATAKE!)

She lost consciousness. This was starting to irritate how often it was happening. It was worse than when she had fever induced seizures as a child. "Oh, good, you're up! You've been out for two whole days! I hope you had a nice rest." The nurse, medic nin?, was talking to her as if she was a kid. In that false tone adults use to placate stupid people. Rei decided she hated the medical person. So she was grateful when she left, Rei needed some time to adjust.

Wait. Rei was her name, right? She had made that choice based on the fact that her previous name had been Ray--. She couldn't quite remember everything, but her mind felt more like her own. More like she was in control of it, not the other way around. She could finally think critically about things.

First, she had died. She couldn't remember dying, but it felt like an unarguable fact. Second, she was born into the World of Naruto. Not the one she had previously known though, or she had forgotten several important things. Which given the state of her mind, that was very possible. Third, she had taken lives. She had killed and it had been easy. That sat hardest with her. How easy it had been, at least physically. Putting that aside to deal with later was the best coping mechanism she had.

Four, she had potential knowledge of the future and she was going to use it to kick fate's ass. Five, Rei was going to be her name now, and Six, she wasn't actually alone in the room. He was trying to be sneaky, but while his chakra was practically completely pulled into his core, she could still feel enough of it to feel his distrust and irritation. Looks like she would have to have a conversation, which sucked, because she had never been good at dialogue.

She waited until the hospital worker bustled right out of the room. "Hatake-san." It was suddenly hard to ignore that she was speaking japanese. As if before, she had been automatically translating in her head and now it was manual. Surprise flickered through him, before he literally appeared out of the shadowed corner of the room. Which, was probably not very well lit for that reason. "Are you going to kill me?" Damn it, that's not exactly what she wanted to ask, her thoughts must still be messed up. Everything was messed up. No. Ignore that strand of thought. Focus on the present.

Kakashi had tensed at her question. "Are you still working for Danzo?" She had to bite her tongue to control the rage she felt at the man's very name. "Is that your way of saying 'no'? Because that's my answer." He didn't relax at her negative answer, but his chakra slowly unraveled from his center. She hadn't realized she was also tense, until she relaxed along with him. "If you betray Konoha, I will kill you."

Maybe it was the fact that her mind was still mostly jumbled, or that her body felt weak from not doing anything for two days, but Rei scoffed at him. Amusement was felt briefly when he actually made an indignant expression at that. "Hatake-san, I don't fear death. I fear living." The older ninja, who was really too young for all the bullshit he's endured, just ignored her and pulled out an orange book, before sitting in the visitor seat. "Go to sleep kid. You're being dismissed in the morning."

Despite his advice, she didn't sleep. To puzzled by his behavior. She was definitely missing something, because his behavior was just odd. He was more accepting than she was expecting and definitely more nonchalant. She also was really curious about the whole older sister thing, but knew better than to ask.

So, she spent the remainder of her time in the hospital bed, feigning sleep and thinking about her goal. Killing Danzo Shimura. Before deciding anything about this world, he needed to die. She just didn't know how to go about it. A few hours later, silent other than the turn of a page every so often, another med-nin came in with her chart.

"Okay, Hatake-san, about your, niece?" He seemed to take the information strangely, obviously confused, but locking it down to remain professional. "I regret to tell you, that if you had any hope of Rei-chan becoming a Kunoichi, it's best to let go of that now. Her chakra system is underdeveloped, especially for someone born from a Clan Kunoichi." He acted as if she didn't already have blood on her hands and actually wanted to be a child soldier.

"It's my professional opinion, that if she were to attempt a jutsu higher than the Academy Three, it would most likely kill her." Kakashi had no physical reaction to the words, but Rei knew he was confused. Probably wondering why Danzo even kept a seemingly broken tool around. If he asked her, she would have been able to easily answer it, as Danzo had told her exactly why he had kept her. Rei was harder to sense than most, and was easily passed off as a civilian to even ROOT's best sensors. Perfect for assassinating trained killers.

"Mah, I'm sure it'll be fine. Is she free to go?" Not once, did the man glance at her. As if she as a real entity was inconsequential. "Ah, yes. She's free to go, please take what I said seriously." Kakashi waved, before grabbing her arm and making the world go sideways. A skill earned over a lifetime ago, kept her from throwing up immediately upon arriving at a mostly empty apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this Chapter will be one from a different perspective. Any Chapter that is from Rei's view, and she is really an unreliable narrator, will begin with an (S). Kakashi will be a (D), and any other will be a (B).


	5. Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets have a different unreliable narrator!! Enter Kakashi Hatake

(DUTY)  
From an extremely early age, Kakashi Hatake was lauded as a genius and prodigy. As such, he was well aware the arm he had grabbed was wrong. The hospital files had dated the little soldier as around six. He didn't want to think about what that meant, because he could feel how muscled the arm was, yet he could have held both arms easily in one hand.

Deciding not to linger on those thoughts, as soon as they made it to the recently purchased apartment, he dropped it's arm. Wishing he had the comfortable weight of his porcelain mask. However, Hokage-sama had made it clear he wasn't to keep it on during the prolonged assignment.

That's what his leader had called it. A 'prolonged assignment'. Kakashi blamed Gai for his recent begging the Hokage about how bad Anbu was and how it was harming his mental stability. There was anger stirring in his gut just by reminding himself about the green clad jounin's meddling in his life.

Returning to 'mission mode', he noticed the little soldier grimace in an attempt to not throw up on the new wood floors. He would not be cleaning up any messes. Especially because he had just purchased this apartment as the Anbu barracks weren't really welcoming of visitors.

It was a modest place. Two bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room. More than enough for himself and the little soldier wasn't going to have a preference. Danzo would have made sure of that. Putting thoughts about him away, Kakashi was fully focused on the little soldier again. Who was just standing zoned out by the purchased just yesterday couch.

He had been given a list of things that someone the soldiers age would probably need, and even with two days to buy the things, he hadn't gotten one item. How was he supposed to leave the Hospital when Danzo could be planning a retaliation? Kakashi's mission was to protect the potential asset and the rest of team Ro were being placed under a temporary new team leader.

Ignoring the other person in the apartment, Kakashi went to check the fridge. It was still very early and since he was the adult he should probably feed both of them. While he was well trained enough to go several days on chakra pills alone, he was not so detached to go unbothered by how gaunt the face of the soldier was.

Kakashi was quick to fry some eggs and cook some rice. He knew how to make more elaborate meals, but since he wasn't a brainwashed soldier and had no preference, she would eat it. Not that he cared whether she would like his cooking. She was just a mission, who most certainly did not resemble his deceased older sister.

With a quick motion towards the table, she scrambled to seat herself and obey his command. Kakashi felt an unpleasant twist in his gut by how easy she obeyed him. It was Tenzo all over again. However, the mokuton user had had a better sense of self when Kakashi had first met him. Not that it was really his call about how well adjusted someone was.

He watched her with heavy scrutiny, to see if she was at least curious about what was under his mask, because that would be a glimmer of a personality. But no, not once did the little soldier so much as glance up from her plate. Kakashi couldn’t tell if it was out of respect or lack of care.

She did silently start to clean up, so at least she was competent when it came to chores. Kakashi watched as she struggled for half a second, before dragging a chair over to the sink in order to wash the dishes. It almost seemed as if she had mentally checked out and was just going on muscle memory.

He considered telling her what he was going to do, but dismissed it. He was on guard duty, that didn't mean he had to engage. "I'll be back, don't leave the apartment." She gave a distracted reply and he left. Only, Kakashi stayed a little away from the apartment for thirty minutes, before deciding he had time to stop by the memorial stone. His team would have laughed at him, being placed in charge of a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter late tonight or early tomorrow since this one is short


	6. Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic Attack ahead

(STILL)  
The apartment he had brought her to, was clearly unlived in. It had that stifling feeling of emptiness. Silent and still. With nothing better to do, and unwilling to challenge her new guardian, Rei explored the area. The bathroom was well stocked with cleaning supplies and bandages. That probably meant Hatake having an aversion to Hospitals was real. She figured there would be many more things that challenged her vague memory of the World.

The bedroom on the left, was closed and she could feel inactive chakra just beyond. Chakra carefully arranged for a purpose, she wouldn't know the result of, until it was triggered. Although slightly curious, Rei ignored the closed door. Heading instead, to what was reasonably, her new room. It had a bed, not a futon, and a wooden dresser. She liked it. Especially the window.

Meditating by a window, was a comfort. Watching the busy world go by and not feeling as if she needs to interact with it. A clear mind was important when contemplating murder. It wasn't enough to want to kill Danzo, even when she accepted it was likely a suicide mission. Rei had to be sure the old bastard would actually die. Before she met her own end.

A stray thought passed through, that if she succeeded in eliminating the bastard, where would his soul go? Was there indeed a Hell and she had missed her ticket? Or in twenty years, would this world be plagued by him and his devious plots again. It was a theory she had no way of proving, she had so many unanswered questions about what she was.

It was a testament to her skill at denial, that she easily pushed those thoughts away. There was no use asking questions she would never learn the answer to. The one thing she could do right now, was come up with a way to eliminate the man who had helped bloody her hands. It was the greatest thing she could do with this unwanted gift of life.

There were obvious gaps in her memories about her life before, but she remembered it strongly enough, that there was no doubt she had lived before. After all, a lonely, abused mind wouldn't be able to create such strong feelings of love and loss, right?

Rei was pulled out of her depressing thoughts, by a scene outside of her window. Her room was facing out towards the street, containing a small convenience store. The commotion that had, thankfully, pulled her from her own mind, was two children running from a group of older kids. The air was promising violence for the scrawny duo. Words whispered through her mind, as she launched herself out of the window. Always do the right thing, love.

Since being given to Shimura, she had been conditioned to be fast. To kill and run. Lucky for the four older children, there was no way to create an instinct to kill in her. Instead, she moved to disable the opponents. A knock to the back of the neck here, a bruising kick to the back of the knee there, in only a few minutes, the older kids were crying out in pain and running away. Had she not been so fast, they would have easily overpowered her and won.

"Wow. You kicked their asses, dattebayo!" Instantly filled with anxiety, she was caught between wanting to run away and feeling an intense need to turn around, to prove that she wasn't insane. Sure enough, the excited voice belonged to a scruffy blond with intense blue eyes, whisker marks on his cheeks. Unfortunately, she could feel the kyuubi chakra. Not wanting to be rude, but unable to speak in the face of such an intense feeling of anxiety, she gave the best smile she could. (It was more a grimace.)

Her attention moved to the Unknown girl, when the street looking kid put herself between Rei and the future savior of the World. It wasn’t done with suspicion or malice, which made her think the girl did it unconsciously. “Naru-chan’s right! You were so cool!” They were so smiley and eager and overwhelming. She was already dealing with the onset of a panic attack for disobeying Hatake’s order to stay in the apartment. “Thank you.” They looked at her expectantly and she cringed. “Okay, goodbye.”

Did she run away from two children? Yes. Yes she did. Compacting her body, she jumped back through her window, rolling into a crouch. Just in time to start hyperventilating and panicking. How had she handled these before? Something about focusing on her breathing, right? Only, she was breathing too fast and oh fuck what if she blacked out from lack of oxygen? The more she focused on her breathing, the worse it got.

That’s how Kakashi found her, four hours after he had left her alone, and an hour after she had ran into the jinchuriki and his friend. Curled up in a ball in the room he had planned on giving her to use. By then though, her sobs had subsided and instead of being an emotional wreck, she was calm and still. “We have a meeting with Hokage-sama tomorrow morning. Here.” He dropped a few bags in the doorway and promptly disappeared into the other room.

If she hadn’t have spent her previous life striving to understand people, Rei might have taken his dismissal personally. As it was, she didn’t have the energy to take anything to heart. In the bags were several pieces of clothing and two notebooks as well as a cheap packet of pencils. She left the clothes to go through later, deciding what she was wearing was good enough for now. Not caring about time or food, Rei crawled into her new bed, eager to put this day far behind her.

Except she couldn’t sleep, every time she attempted to relax and sleep, Rei would begin to feel Kakashi’s chakra. It seemed she would need to get used to Kakashi before she could relax anywhere near him. Instead, she picked up the notebook and started absentmindedly drawing stars, a clear reminder that the life she remembered was real. As she drew, she thought about what she was going to do.

Danzo was still a threat, but she wasn’t so anxious that she had missed the girl who had been with Naruto. A girl she didn’t remember being there in the original story. So what did that mean about her knowledge of the story? What else about her memories were wrong? Who was she? Without a real conscious thought about it, she started humming softly to herself. A melody she certainly hadn’t heard in this world.

After a few minutes of doing that, she predictably got bored and felt the need to do something productive, she knew how precious time was. So she tried on the rest of the clothes Kakashi had gotten her and realized that absolutely none of them were the same size. None of the pants matched up with any of the shirts, and nothing was her size. This seemed, intentional. Rei had no idea what Kakashi was playing at, but she now had something to focus her time on.

The issue now, of course, was gathering up the courage to go and knock on his door, because she was certain there was no way she could get away with leaving the apartment without permission. Anxiety was swelling inside her every time she even thought about leaving her room and knocking on his door. Of course, there were memories inside that relived a confidence from a woman who knew the secret to being any kind of social. Fake it til you make it.


	7. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into the Life of the broken Hatakes from a reliable narrator, the Narrator.

(BREATH)  
The small figure, honestly too small for her perceived age, stood hovering outside of the broken man’s door. The man known as ‘friend killer’ knew she was there and the soul that wasn’t meant for this world knew he knew. Her reason for hovering beyond the wooden block was his own machination, a test if you will. While still consciously keeping the child far from his consideration and care, unconsciously he had already decided to do right by her. Purposefully buying clothes he knew would be ill fitting, in the hopes that she would show some semblance of a personality by caring about what she wore. Though the official last of his clan would shun the one in his care if given the chance, in truth, her semblance towards his elder sister connected him deeply to the broken doll-like child. A breath he didn’t notice had been imprisoned in his lungs was freed when she finally knocked. A tentative voice called out “Hatake-san.” A small chip of the apathy he shrouded himself in dropped away. Were this a bright and happy story, this would be the part where he smiled warmly at her and accepted her as his ward. This would be the part where Rei would finally feel wanted. Instead, the apathy was quick to be fixed right back in place and he carelessly gave her money to buy new clothes. He waited five minutes after she left to put his mask back on both literally and figuratively. A soldier following orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, since this is a short one, another one will be updated in less than 24 hours.


	8. Social

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Hatakes are forced to socialize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less than 24 hours and a real chapter update!

(SOCIAL)  
Rei was dressed in her new clothes while waiting to be seen by the Hokage. Kakashi had been a good sport while she had picked out a few simple shirts and shorts. There was even a moment when he had put back a pair of shorts and told her they weren’t ‘good for spars’. It was weirdly nice. “Hokage-sama is ready now.” She hated the kind persona of the man serenely smoking a pipe. Danzo’s blatant evil was a far more easier pill to swallow. You cannot stand among bloodied bodies and preach about morality.

“Rei-chan, how would you like to go to the Academy?” What was the point of phrasing an order as a question, it only insulted her. “If that’s what’s expected, Hokage-sama.” She was admittedly, a little amused at how soured he seemed to be by her response. The elder blew out a plume of smoke and she was suddenly reminded that he had lost his wife. An odd thing to be reminded of at that moment. “I spoke with the iryo-nin that treated you, and while utilizing your chakra will be difficult, I believe the Academy will be helpful for you.”

More like they wanted to indoctrinate her to the ‘Will of Fire’ bullshit she has memories of. Regardless, it does seem to be in her best interest at the moment. She needs them to not watch her so closely in order to have a shot at Danzo. “I appreciate the help, Hokage-sama.” Something inside of her mind was itching at her consciousness. Now wasn’t the time to deal with it however.

He smiled at her and she tried to focus on Kakashi’s chakra signature. It was as restless as a storm and she quickly lost focus. While it was close to second nature for her to sense chakra all around her, it took a significant amount of concentration to actually read someone. “Well, then you will be enrolled in about two years.” Kakashi’s chakra fluttered, giving her the insight that the Hokage’s words were deeper than face value. Without any further information, she chose to ignore it.

“In the meantime, I believe Kakashi-kun can instruct you on how to get a feel for your chakra.” Yeah, that was as likely as sharing an ice cream cone with the blue fish guy. Considering she didn’t even know if he was real, Kakashi wasn’t about to be helping her. "Thank you, Hokage-sama." Rei figured the best way to get out of this situation, growing more uncomfortable by the second, would be to placate the older man with false gratitude.

He watched her closely, so she was sure to keep her body relaxed and her expression blank. "Hm, there's someone who wishes to see how you're doing." She tensed instantly, hoping with everything she had, that Hiruzen Saratobi wasn't the kind of man who believed a victim should confront their abuser. "If you would please join us.” The cold one only feels when immersed by shade is the chakra of the man with the scars on his face. She should really pay more attention to names.

Just when Rei was close to deciphering the emotion drenching his chakra,, the Hokage started talking again and she lost focus. “He came to visit you in the hospital, Rei-chan.” What was she supposed to do with that information? “Thank you for your concern, Nara-san.” That was apparently the right choice, when he smiled at her and gave her head a pat. “If I hadn’t, my wife would have had my head.”

The grimace on his scarred face wasn’t great. “Actually, if it’s okay with Kakashi, she would like you to visit for lunch today.” He shot a glare at her guardian, it was heavy with something and why did Rei even bother trying to read people anymore. “Both of you are invited.” Rei actually felt humour at the thought of Kakashi having to sit down at a family lunch, it was wiped away by sudden fear of being anywhere near a nice normal family unit.

What if she infected the boy with her vile existence. What if, just by being near him she ends up making him some awful homicidal lunatic. Everything would be fucked up and it would be all her fault. “Ah, sorry Shikaku-san, we have plans.” She could honestly hug Kakashi out of sheer gratitude and relief from not having a panic attack in the middle of the Hokage’s office. It would likely happen some day, but for now she was safe again.

Unfortunately, she figured out what the grimace was for, or at least a logical hypothesis. Hokage-sama was pushing the whole “will of fire” stuff on her because he believed her to be brainwashed or mentally scarred. Because the best way to deal with a traumatised person was throwing them at normal people and using your own brainwashing techniques. Rei supposed they really needed their child soldiers to remain loyal.

She doubted this was the village of Hashirama’s childhood dreams. Shikaku angled his body more towards Kakashi and she started to feel slightly trapped. She took a slight step closer to Kakashi, unconsciously putting him in her blind spot. “Kakashi, if I go back to my expectant wife and tell her the lunch she’s spent so very long making, was a waste of time, how do you imagine that’s going to end, for both of us?”

Kakashi was completely quiet, not even his footsteps were making a single noise. She knew the technique, but thought it was unnecessary for a simple walk to the Nara Clan lands. His chakra was also tightly balled inside, so it was harder to get a read on it. Although, just by his actions, she could tell he was having a hard time. Maybe the thought of being around a nice family was making him anxious as well.

Shikaku, for his part, was also dragging his feet, although concentrating on his chakra told her he was just exhausted. What exactly did he do that made him feel so weary. That was one of those things she probably should have remembered, but it wasn’t as if this story was her entire focus when she had lived before. Maybe it was just exhausting being seen as a genius.

Suddenly, she was reminded that she was currently walking in between two recognized geniuses. Either of which could at any moment realize she was a fucking imposter and didn’t belong in this world. Her stress level just started rising and didn’t stop when they were actually in front of the door. Due to her anxiety fueled hyper focus, she could feel both the adult inside the house and him.

“Yoshino, I brought them.” Sure, he was completely relaxed, it was his fucking house. If she had a better relationship with Kakashi, she’d ask him to bail with her. It seemed highly likely he would cooperate. However, she was shit out of luck in that regard. Of course, she understands that social anxiety has more to do with perceived perceptions than actual perceptions. Logic though, has no place anywhere near anxiety.

Yoshino, being the first clan matriarch Rei had ever seen, had in mere moments set a high bar for any future clan matriarchs the broken girl would ever meet. The brunette woman was quick to usher everyone into the house and then right onto the back porch, where a very nice spread was laid out. Since her very first greeting, Yoshino-san kept up a one sided conversation.

“Hello, welcome back Kakashi-kun and Rei-chan, although I suppose this is the first time we’re meeting while you’re awake.” What the fuck did that mean? “I remember all your favorites, Kakashi-kun, and only had to guess at yours, Rei-chan. Shikaku was less than forthcoming about what you might enjoy.” At this, she shot her husband a clearly disgruntled look. “Some of these were my favorite when I was a young girl.” Rei figured this was a verbal opening for Shikaku to comment that she was still young. He didn’t and Yoshino-san’s ire seemed to be barely repressed.

For over twenty years, Rei had experience having conversations where she needed to keep the other person’s ego afloat and make sure it seemed like she thought higher of them than she did. It was a learned ability from the desire not to cause waves. None of those compliments were sincere to how she viewed the person, even though she never lied. Her instant respect for Yoshino-san has her holding her tongue, instead of commenting something along the lines of “Twenty is still young.”

Kakashi sat where the Nara Matriarch directed him to, clearly content to let Yoshino-san hold a one sided conversation, however rude that was. Rei could tell he was comfortable in the rudeness and Yoshino-san seemed used to it, as did Shikaku. Leaving the girl to consider what the relationship between the Nara’s and the Hatake was, exactly.

Rei wasn’t so much as raised, but trained to be a tool, and yet, she couldn’t stand to be rude to a woman who captured her respect almost instantaneously. “Everything looks very well made, Yoshino-san.” Some part of her, that had been picking up and learning the new cultural significances of the world around her, knows that complimenting the craftsmanship that went into a hostess meal preparation is considered the polite thing to do. Well, she thinks at least. Either way, it has the desired effect.

Yoshino-san coos, and physically holds her arms around herself, as if restraining herself from hugging and or squishing Rei. On one hand, not getting squished is appreciated, on the other, she is touch starved enough to feel disappointed by the lack of squishing. Although she supposes she should be grateful, her learned instincts would likely not react well to suddenly being engulfed in another’s arms.

Rei is trying to decide the best way to deal with this situation, when he comes out of the forest and joins them. “Kaa-san, you’re being weird.” She’s startled by her gut reaction to admonish him for talking to his mother like that, but is nowhere near comfortable enough to act on it. She simply has no right to tell anyone how to treat their mother.

Lunch is awkward at best, irritating at worst. Kakashi replies to Shikaku’s easy chatter with noncommittal sounds and fake eye smiles, while Yoshino-san makes conversation at Rei and her obviously tired son. She finds that she can’t make herself eat much, so focuses on trying a tiny bit of each dish. There’s a strange fish dish, drenched in a sweet syrup like substance, and what is most definitely mochi. Those are the only two dishes she tries that she finds a taste for.

Rei thinks that all she has to do is politely eat and listen attentively to Yoshino-san, then she is free from this sensory overload and anxiety-inducing day. She can go back to plotting Danzo’s death. “I’ll clear the dishes, Rei-chan, Shikamaru, you two go outside and play.” Fuck. She could only guess Shikaku wanted to talk to Kakashi about something. Rei was suddenly very aware that the Nara’s saw her as a little girl and not the monster she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slowly running out of prewritten chapters. Also, recklessly skipping time soon. Cause theres more interesting things a coming.


	9. Silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caution: some people are dicks to children.

(SILENT)  
They sat outside, so close to the chakra rich forest, that she couldn’t focus on the signatures in the house, or get a good read on the one next to her. Panic and sleeplessness were messing with her anxiety and she was perfectly content to stay right where she was and say nothing. Anything to ignore the dark eyes that had been scrutinizing her since she was spotted by them.

“Why did you run away that day in the forest?” Because his face had set her mind on fire and she couldn’t handle the influx of so many memories and emotions. Only, she couldn’t just say that, she couldn’t say anything. What if she said the wrong thing and corrupted the innocent life next to her? Yes. One day he too would have blood on his hands, but for now, he was just a six year old child. He was innocent.

He watched her, and she pointedly stared at the unnerving forest. Wait. Fuck. She had left her ROOT issued weapons in there! What if he found them and hurt himself. Thoughtlessly, she took off into the forest, her mind more than a little muddle and certainly full of panic. Rei got maybe a few feet into the forest, before a tight, bruising grip halted her. She was sure to have dark purple blotches on her arms for several days.

Kakashi’s angry glare met her own panic gaze, she vaguely registered that Shikaku was now on the porch, she was still within sight of the house, despite technically being in the trees. Kakashi must have been paying very close attention to her. Panic always had the irritating symptom of making her blurt things out and not think before acting. “Hatake-san I left my weapons in the forest, what if someone gets hurt?” His eye softened, but his grip did not, as if he wanted to, but ultimately did not believe her.

“Shikaku-san has already found them.” To her shame, Rei calmed down enough to notice Yoshino-san had moved to stand behind her son, as if he needed protection from her. Which wasn't an unfounded fear. At that moment, all she wanted to do was cry. On one hand, she was a six year old child, on the other she was a full grown adult in mourning. Nothing, in any world, could have stopped the tears.

She tried her best to control her emotional response, by keeping her face blank. The tears dripping down her face couldn’t be stopped, but she could pretend she wasn’t crying like a child she wasn’t. Rei couldn’t bring her gaze up from the ground where it had fallen without her permission. So, she didn’t register at first, the angry mother stomping towards her and Kakashi. “Let her go, Kakashi-kun.”

His hands dropped, no doubt from the sheer maternal anger in Yoshino-san’s voice. She was in no state to trust anyone, so when soft hands touched her bare arms, she flinched back, muscle memory expecting a punishment for letting her emotions get the best of her. “Shh, Rei-chan, you’re okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter in around 24 hours.


	10. Broken : Yoshino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moms can be good people.

(BROKEN:YOSHINO)  
Before Shikaku had proposed, Yoshino had managed to rank as high as Chunin in the War, as such, she had seen many, many children as broken as the little girl in front of her. Every malnourished and terrified face had hurt her, but none had broken her heart as much as this. Maybe it was caused by how similar the little girl looked like her lost best friend, maybe it was the child’s obvious concern for Yoshino’s own son. Either way, the Nara matriarch knew she would help care for this broken girl.

Keeping her voice soft, as if she was talking to a frightened animal, Yoshino tried her best to calm the girl from her clear panic. “You’re not in trouble, no ones mad at you.” She was sure to cast a disapproving glance at Kakashi, the boy really should have known better. Honestly, what was the Hokage thinking, putting this broken man in charge of a broken little girl. It was of no use though, the girl who looked so much like Sumire, had become unresponsive. It was as if she had just shut herself down. All but the tears.

It was horrifying. What kind of life had this child been living? Shikaku had told her Rei was an orphan that Kakashi was put in charge of for the time being, but both husband and wife had known that wasn’t the real truth. Sometimes it was hard being married to the jounin commander. How was she supposed to help this child when she didn’t have the full story? Yoshino figured she would just do her best, which would have to be the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I did die a little bit. Sorry about that. The world went a little sideways and then life kicked open my door and tracked mud all over my damn carpet.


	11. Disturbed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi tries to be less of a dick.

(DISTURBED)  
Despite Yoshino insisting they stay, Kakashi managed to prod the girl into walking back to the apartment with him. Honestly, he was feeling sort of regretful. He had known the girl hadn’t slept, because neither had he. In his defense, he had been waiting for her to attempt to go back to Danzo or do something suspicious. As a soldier, she should have been more aware of how others would perceive her actions.

The sheer disappointment Yoshino leveled at him had been intense, but she could never understand what the girl was capable of. He was sure she had a body count as high as he did at that age. It did seem like a good sign that she had some kind of emotions. Although, he would appreciate the tears stopping anytime soon.

As soon as they had gotten back to the apartment, she had walked listlessly into her room and sat on the floor, crying. It was completely unnerving. What the fuck was he supposed to do in this situation? Talk to her? Close the bedroom door and pretend he didn’t know she was crying? Since all of those choices seemed less than ideal, he started making tea, ignoring that that was what Sumire had done for him when he was younger.

He started making some tea he found in the cabinet, and made a mental note that he had to get more groceries. Having to care for more than just himself was going to be an adjustment. Why had the Hokage saddled him with this burden? His leader had cited how Tenzo had responded positively to Kakashi’s influence, and had said it would be good for him. All that sounded like was excuses. There was something the Sandaime wasn’t telling him.

Pushing such thoughts aside, it wasn’t a shinobi’s place to question their leader, he pours two cups of the tea. Despite having no intention of drinking his. “Drink it before it’s cold.” His voice is just loud enough to carry down the hall to the girl’s ears. And if she hadn’t heard him, that wasn’t his fault. It takes more time than it should, but his sensitive ears pick up the sound of her shuffling out of the room.

He’s instantly grateful the tears have stopped. “Hatake-san.” Intrigued, he honestly hadn’t expected her to willingly talk to him, he makes a noncommittal noise. Her voice is hollow and her eyes are empty. “Am I a monster?” What the fuck. “Drink your tea.” She accepts the diversion and finally picks up the tea. Then the tears start again. Did she burn her mouth on it? It should have been cool enough. Did she not like Jasmine tea?

Kakashi had a headache and was seconds away from going back to the Hokage and demanding someone else, anyone else, take over babysitting duty. He summons Pakkun. “Pakkun, watch the girl. You,” he points at her, inflecting authority into his voice, “don’t leave the apartment.” In the fastest shunshin of his life, he’s in front of the memorial stone. He’s desperate to talk to Minato-sensei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two chapters are not in place of Fridays chapters. They're the late ones that I missed. Thank you for all the comments!


	12. Suicidal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip. Revenge happens, confusion ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Thoughts that can be taken in a suicidal ideation kind of way. At no point is Suicide condoned or attempted.

(SUICIDAL)  
She’s lived with Kakashi for a year when she finally has her plan completely figured out. A year of living with a man who might actually have as many problems as her, a year of forced playdates with Shikamaru-kun that are filled with almost companionable silence at this point, a year of getting her chakra to do exactly what she needs it to. A year to come to terms with her next death.

The only small regret she finds she has, is that she never found out who the girl was with the future hero of the shinobi world. She reasons with herself that Shikamaru-kun is young, and will likely forget his silent companion. (She conveniently forgets he is a genius, even among Naras). Rei thinks, among all those she was forced to interact with, it is likely Kakashi’s ninken who will miss her most. Her forced upon babysitters.

It’s a simple plan, made easier, by the fact that she doesn’t plan to get away with it. The acceptance that she will die, but not before him, gives her a boost of determination. He is the darkest evil in Konoha, and by taking him out, she knows she is doing the best thing with her unwanted life. (She misses home, and the people she might see on the other side).

It is easy, when your goal is right there, to get tunnel vision. To be blinded by everything but your goal. She tries to avoid this hazard, by reminding herself that when she completes this, many lives will be better off. The Uchiha, who she has noticed in the marketplace are under suspicious glares, and the boy who was a painter, whose name she cannot remember. Not that she has tried.

Her chance is given to her, when Kakashi, elite shinobi that he is, passes out reeking of sake. Forgetting to summon her babysitters. It is October 10th, and Rei is content. For one single moment, before silently leaving the apartment out her window, she lets herself feel gratitude for the young man. His care for her was distant and awkward, but it was still there. Mission or not.

She has learned a lot in a year. Her sense of chakra was easy to ignore, now that she had shut down most emotions not helpful towards her goal. It seemed to be directly tied to her emotions, when she wanted to read someone, it was easier, not perfect, but easier. Most of the time, she doesn’t want to know anything about anyone. Mostly using it on Kakashi to find out if he was on to her, and finding he was more depressed than she was.

Now, her sense is on high alert, as her chakra is suppressed as tightly as possible. She practiced this ability with the deer in the Nara forest, who seemed unusually reactive to chakra presences. Not that she had much experience with wild animals in this second world. Soon, she is at Shimura’s house. Having been his tool to sharpen and dull as he saw fit, she had once given her verbal report to him right in his living room.

Outside the perimeter of his home, there are four chakra signatures she believes are seals. The difference between seals and nature chakra, is the distinct feeling of a purpose. She doesn’t know what that is, but she can easily avoid their tendrils of chakra around the outer wall. Getting inside is as simple as climbing through the window in his study. It raises her anxiety to near panic levels, is he expecting her?

He isn’t in his study, she can feel his disgusting chakra in his bedroom down the hall. His is the only one she can feel. Where are his guards? She puts it aside, as long as she can complete her mission, she doesn’t care what happens after. Without a sound, she is next to his sleeping form, chakra covered hand at his temple. She is as fast as he made her to be, as fast as an assassin is supposed to be.

His eyes had almost flickered open, but she had been faster with pushing her chakra into his brain, causing an immediate shutdown of the body. The poor squirrels she had practiced on had been dead in seconds, Danzo took minutes. She knows he is dead, by the burning on her tongue, the seal dying alongside it’s creator. In the dark of the room, she lets out a breath and waits.

After a few minutes, she can’t figure out why she’s still alive. Where were his guards? The bug guy and the redhead?(She doesn’t remember that she warned Shikaku Nara that the Aburame were in danger, thus putting every clan on the lookout) Why the fuck had this been so easy? (She doesn’t know that Hiruzen Sarutobi had disbanded Root and Danzo was in the process of rebuilding) In a sort of fog, she makes her way out of the Shimura house, away from the cooling body. Her mind is racing and her heartbeat alongside it. She is on autopilot as she makes it back to the apartment and her bed. Sleep should be easy, but all of her is tense and nightmares fill her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next few chapters are going to be more time skipping as Rei is just coasting through life right now and has no idea what to do now. Thank you for reading! I am excited for the next several chapters and to hear your responses.


	13. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi finally sees a spark of life in the kid.

(DOUBT)  
It’s October 11th, he is slightly hungover, and the Hokage tells him Danzo Shimura has died. His immediate thought is the kid. She had left the apartment sometime in the night, he wasn’t used to her enough to not be awoken by her comings and goings, even intoxicated. However, all the med nin who did the autopsy has found, was it was a natural aneurysm. The Hokage is asking him if it seems suspicious enough to look into. “No, Hokage-sama. He was in the age range for a build up of chakra in the brain, and with how private Councilman Shimura was, it seems likely he would have kept any health issues to himself.” A pause.

His leader was visibly taking the death of his oldest comrade, hard. His eyes were hardened by the grim reminder that just because you’ve lived long enough to withstand horrors, didn’t mean you would live to die naturally. Loss had no schedule. Of course, it didn’t help that his wife had been lost seven years ago yesterday. October 10th was a shitty day. “Do you want me to investigate?” Kakashi, despite having been taken off the ANBU roster for a year, was always prepared to take the mask back. In the end, Hokage-sama sent him back home, it was nearing dawn and the Hatake had to be home for the kid to wake up.

Normally, breakfast was content in it's quietness, seeing as the two of them were getting used to each other more and more everyday. Today however, Kakashi felt mildly nauseous and the kid was having one of those days. Days Kakashi knew well, when you were no longer aware of time passing around you, too busy reliving some horror over and over. It could have been caused by a nightmare, that was often the reason behind days like this. However, he still felt as if it was her behind the death of the shifty councilman.

The question was, did he want to investigate the death of an evil man, and likely figure out one of his victims was the killer? Kakashi certainly wasn’t going to lose sleep over the councilman’s death, but didn't he owe it to the leader of the village to at least investigate? He was pulled out of his internal conflict, by the kid herself. "Kakashi. I did something, illegal." Not for a moment, did he think the kid would actually tell him. Kakashi was purposeful in his nonreaction. "Are you going to get caught?" She scrunched her face in confusion, a relief she was actually showing emotions. "Uhm. I don't think so?"

The mutt was finally ready to be "rehabilitated". Kakashi clapped his hands and forced a cheery tone into his voice. "Then there's nothing to worry about! Except of course, your training for today!" He had her work through several exhausting chakra exercises, neither of them mentioning that Kakashi had never bothered to train her before now. Well, no time like the present.


	14. Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three snippets while time passes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit is unbroken text. Enjoy!

(BETWEEN)  
The child has been in Kakashi-kun’s care for well over a year. Hiruzen is honestly a little surprised that the girl is still alive. Not that he ever expected Kakashi-kun to harm her, he would never place a child in harm’s way intentionally. (He carefully avoids thinking of Minato’s son.)

As one of the few people left that Kakashi hasn’t successfully pushed away, he wants to be more involved in the girl’s life, but as the Hokage he must look towards the ever present unrest in the Uchiha clan and Konoha’s future wellbeing.

But he cares damn it. He cares about Sakumo’s family, it is another regret he will take to his grave. HIruzen is after all, responsible for the girl’s poor start at life, a Sensei never stops being responsible for his students. Even when they are grown and S-rank criminals.

Although, he has never been good at keeping those close to him in check, if he had been, maybe Danzo would not have grown so distant and dark. Maybe he’s getting old, holding all of these regrets and hardened memories.

He does what any aged elder does, and thinks of his children. Himiko, his beautiful daughter, who refuses to have anything to do with him. Asuma, his accomplished son, who refuses to have anything to do with him.

It would sting more, if he didn’t have the entirety of the Village looking towards him with love and pride. If they only knew about his sins. These thoughts will get him nowhere, so he lights a pipe and prepares to do paperwork well into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shikaku has a photo on his desk at work, normally ill advised for an active shinobi, since anyone you care about can become a target. The jounin commander doesn’t have that fear, because Sumire Hatake has been deceased for over a decade. Despite what some of his coworkers think, Yoshino knows he has a picture of her best friend on his desk.

Sumire Hatake had been his wife’s best friend, but she had also been Shikaku’s godsister, and he had felt like an older brother to her. They had practically been raised together, even keeping in touch when she had been in the academy after him. She had saved his life, had set him up with Yoshino, and he saw her ghost in Rei.

From the very first moment he had looked at Rei, he had seen Sumire in the girl. It was impossible not to, with her dark hair and bright blue eyes. It’s the differences that he has to focus on, so the past doesn’t poke at him. Sumire was bright and strong willed, Rei is contained inside herself and he’s never seen her smile.

Shikaku had warned Yoshino about getting attached, but his wife does as she pleases and how could he really expect her to leave the little girl alone. Especially when he can’t help getting involved either. Only, what he finds in Danzo’s files makes him grab a bottle of sake and lock himself in his study at home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soldier with a pre-owned soul spends her time either at the Nara household (she believes Shikaku has taken an interest in her survival) when Kakashi is sent away on a mission (Yoshino had found out Kakashi would leave her in the care of his ninken, he sported a bruised eye for two weeks) or throwing kunai at a training post, again and again, alone. (He's not far, she knows he will stand for hours at the stone of the dead.) He isn't really training her. But he isn't completely ignoring her existence. Kakashi makes sure she is fed, and clothed. He does not ask about her preferring to sleep under the bed, he does not try to be attached. She may be his legal ward, and on paper niece, but he does not pretend to care. She is too broken to care. Too many ghosts haunt her mind and heart. Neither of the two residents of the Hatake household feel they should still be alive. They are directionless, aimlessly wandering down the path of life, the only comfort, is that they are taking this path with the other. Undesired companionship is better than surviving alone. (People caught up in their own pain, have trouble noticing the people around them)


End file.
